SES jokes and humor

Discussion of the SES, particularly in the UK.
Piet van der Weijden
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SES jokes and humor

Postby Piet van der Weijden » Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:05 am

Hello, all of you!

Of course, we all suffered (and we still do) from our dictatorial SES past with those annoying teachers/tutors.
And the truly sectarian school system has harmed us all (including myself) both psychologically, philosophically, mentally and even physically.

But maybe some of you also have been laughing during their SES period. Some of those circumstances we have faced were - in a sense - very ridiculous, werent' they?

I want to open a new tread in which you can share SES jokes, humor.
You also can post stories on 'naughty' experiences within the SES universe. Ever been flirtin' with an attractive assistant tutor? Or have had a secret affair with a fellow group member?

As you can read, I am not a native speaker of English. Sorry for that.

I hope this lingual problem of mine won't prevent you from posting your comments concerning 'the funny side of being a former SES member'.


Kind regards,


Piet van der Weijden (38 years old)
Dutch ex-SES member (1979-1990)

PS: My parents still are devoted members...
Former SES-member in Holland (1979-1990)

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a different guest
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Postby a different guest » Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:18 am

"Laughter is the best medicine" eh Pieter? :)

Here's a question that I think people could play around with (and Pieter, is there a dutch equivalent of this?)

"How many SES members does it take to change a light bulb?"

Piet van der Weijden
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:06 am
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
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I think it takes three!

Postby Piet van der Weijden » Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:45 am

a different guest wrote:"Laughter is the best medicine" eh Pieter? :)

Here's a question that I think people could play around with (and Pieter, is there a dutch equivalent of this?)

"How many SES members does it take to change a light bulb?"


I think it takes three SES members. One to keep hold on the worn out bulb and two to lift him (or her, but I think it will be a he) and turn him around.

Piet
Former SES-member in Holland (1979-1990)

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erikdr
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Location: Amsterdam

Jokes

Postby erikdr » Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:09 pm

Okay, a double one from East 79th street building of the New York School then ([/i]did circulate there for the 6 weeks I was an expat and attended their classes[/i]):

'Why is the elevator in 79th St always broke'?

Answer A]
'It likes to stahd still'

Answer B]
'It is loaded with ideas'
With folded palms,

<Erik>

daska
Posts: 270
Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2005 8:29 pm
Location: UK

Postby daska » Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:25 pm

if it doesn't move, polish it

if it does...

give it a cup of tea

lowpass
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Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2004 12:58 pm

Postby lowpass » Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:54 pm

Remember the SEs film festival? Held inn the crypt at St augustines? All films had to be over thirty years old. Was it star wars? Jaws? No.......All those dull unwatchable kings of england biopics...


Or how i was sent out of class at queensgate to a little room,noticed it had all the biscuits and tea making paraphernalia for the evenings SES groups session. Used to immerse the biscuits in bleech and put washing up liquid in the milk....

Daskas mention of the yoghourt skins chills me to the bone...

Skinner was tone deaf, played the theme from star wars throughout his orchestral concerts, he never figured out it was me....(2nd violins)

grimep
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Postby grimep » Fri Mar 04, 2005 8:51 pm

lowpass wrote:

Daskas mention of the yoghourt skins chills me to the bone...


Eeeew... the yoghurt skins >>shudder<<


not really funny or a joke but we used to call the shankara charya the chunky starbar.

Piet van der Weijden
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:06 am
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
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Decently dressed Abhinaya dancers

Postby Piet van der Weijden » Fri Mar 04, 2005 9:18 pm

Approximately 22 years ago I was in sunday Plato School in Amsterdam, a forerunner of the later notorious Plato primary School. At the end of term, there always were performances of all activities. These took place in what was called the 'gymnasium', a former garage for... hearses. Before the SES bought its largest Amsterdam establishment, it was owned by an undertaker's company. From a hinduist point of view, this does not matter, huh? We just had to meditate years and years of tamas out of the house!
But let me come to my point. At the end of those performances on a very hot july afternoon, the senior girls abhinaya group showed its dancing skills. Because of the heat, the 15 to 17 years old ladies did not wear underskirts under their Indian dresses. The sun, which came through the window behind the dancing girls, made their Abhinaya outfits look almost transparent! So, we respectable SES boys could clearly discern the anatomic contours of the dancing girls. I think the tutors, who were sitting aside, did not notice the problem with the sun light. If they had, they would have stopped the show immediately.

Thus the noble art of abhinaya, by accident, became something like a SoHo night club act. However, compared to that it was a very innocent form of gentleman's entertainment. But for the SES... fie!
Former SES-member in Holland (1979-1990)

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a different guest
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Postby a different guest » Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:34 am

why did the SES member cross the road?

Piet van der Weijden
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Djalanam

Postby Piet van der Weijden » Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:23 am

Well, I do not exactly know why this imaginary SES member did cross the road (opposite Queen's Gate?) but I'm sure he did it in Djalanam.
Former SES-member in Holland (1979-1990)

Alban
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Location: London

Postby Alban » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:21 pm

a different guest wrote:..."How many SES members does it take to change a light bulb?"


It takes a whole group...

1 lady to write out out the requisition form in caligraphy
1 lady to go down to the store cupboard to get a replacement bulb
2 ladies to go down to get the ladder
1 more lady to hold the door open for the ladder-bearers
1 lady to be incharge of turning the light switch on and off
1 lady to look up the sanskrit for "lightbulb"
2 ladies to hold the ladder (all ses ladders are ricketty)
1 man to change the bulb
1 man to be I/C (in-charge) of the operation
1 male assistant-tutor to patronise the women while the bulb is changed
7 men to discuss whether the bulb can be re-incarnated
2 ladies to make tea for the men while they discuss
1 male tutor to grin and smoke endless cigarettes throughout the operation
and lastly,
1 Noel Skinner to write a song about it...(they have screwed a golden bulb...into the socket...)

daska
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Location: UK

Postby daska » Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:13 pm

"oh thou lord supreme" you light up our lives?

Alban
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Location: London

Postby Alban » Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:30 pm

"Screw it lord, screw it lord..."

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Free Thinker
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Postby Free Thinker » Sun Mar 06, 2005 9:04 pm

a different guest wrote:"How many SES members does it take to change a light bulb?"


Oh, Alban - that was priceless!

My answer is:

Four. One lower-school member to actually do the changing of the bulb, and 3 senior-member tutors to walk by one at a time while she is changing it and give "suggestions" on how she could do it better. Keep in mind that the tutors' suggestions are all radically different from each other so even if the lower member takes the suggestion, she's still doing it wrong in the eyes of the next tutor that walks by. Gotta keep us on our toes, eh?

Clara
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Postby Clara » Mon Mar 07, 2005 4:52 pm

Re How many ses members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. A light bulb is evil modern technology.
Clara


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