Community involvement by the SES?

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
TB

Postby TB » Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:58 pm

In response to 'a different guest'. You say

And what sort of organisation takes you away from important events in your children's lives. Not a benelovent one anyways


Do you mean this statement literally? Depending upon your (or a child's)perception of important, I would venture that there are a very high proportion of 'non-benelovent' organisations out there (one of which is the SES). On a daily basis from sport to business, politics etc., organisations take their pound of flesh from people, parents included. In spite of some lip service in this direction in western society, do you seriously expect an organisation to be dictated to by individuals unless they represent a threat to the organisation's objectives?

Rachel

Postby Rachel » Fri Jul 16, 2004 9:36 pm

Do you mean this statement literally? Depending upon your (or a child's)perception of important, I would venture that there are a very high proportion of 'non-benelovent' organisations out there (one of which is the SES). On a daily basis from sport to business, politics etc., organisations take their pound of flesh from people, parents included. In spite of some lip service in this direction in western society, do you seriously expect an organisation to be dictated to by individuals unless they represent a threat to the organisation's objectives?


The sort of thing that I missed was seeing my children getting a prize at school prizegiving. (That's just one example) You have to be in the SES to understand the emotional pressure placed on someone to be there no matter what! Any other organisations I have been in do not place this kind of pressure on people. There are no half-way measures with the SES. You are either in or out. The thought of leaving was quite frightening as you felt you were throwing away the key to the kingdom of heaven. Hence the pressure to obey.

Rachael

Postby Rachael » Fri Jul 16, 2004 10:02 pm

Why do you regret using corporal punishment with your kids and what do you mean by being too strict?

Was the strictness and CP you mentioned, done because of the SES influence over you, and regret comes as it was something you would not otherwise have chosen? Or do you feel that in themselves they are not effective means to produce better adjusted children, or has it reduced you or your standards in some way?


Yes, it was encouraged. I suppose I'm not totally against it but I think it should be used sparingly and with many children it is totally unnecessary. With my youngest child I decided not to use CP at all and I feel I was much more constructive in the way I dealt with her. By then I had more confidence in myself as a mother.

TB

Postby TB » Sat Jul 17, 2004 1:26 am

Hallo Rachael,

You have to be in the SES to understand the emotional pressure placed on someone to be there no matter what! Any other organisations I have been in do not place this kind of pressure on people


I spent about around 15 years in the SES so I am very well aware of their ethos. When time pressure built up, I dropped to lower classes on several occasions. After my kids were born juggling time became too difficult and my tutors (childless, I suspect in deference to school ambition) used to make some very unreasonable requests around my duties.

My point about this same issue occuring in other organisations comes from watching a colleague change his wedding dates, another suffer a heart attack due to pressure and in one case commit suicide all because of their work organisation, and more importantly, how they chose to deal with it. I do manage to attend some school events but often demands of work do not allow it. My choices are part of this in terms of role I choose, level of responsibility and income/lifestyle expectations. The interaction between individual and any organisation you choose to belong to, is something like the hypnotist froms with his subject. It only happens to you if you acquiesce.

Rachael

Postby Rachael » Sat Jul 17, 2004 6:19 pm

Hello TB

Ispent about around 15 years in the SES so I am very well aware of their ethos. When time pressure built up, I dropped to lower classes on several occasions. After my kids were born juggling time became too difficult and my tutors (childless, I suspect in deference to school ambition) used to make some very unreasonable requests around my duties.

My point about this same issue occuring in other organisations comes from watching a colleague change his wedding dates, another suffer a heart attack due to pressure and in one case commit suicide all because of their work organisation, and more importantly, how they chose to deal with it. I do manage to attend some school events but often demands of work do not allow it. My choices are part of this in terms of role I choose, level of responsibility and income/lifestyle expectations. The interaction between individual and any organisation you choose to belong to, is something like the hypnotist froms with his subject. It only happens to you if you acquiesce.


Yes, you are absolutely right. I swallowed the 'school line' completely when I was young. I gave up my right to make my own decisions as I belived that my own desires came from the ego (ahankara) As women, we were expected to obey our husbands and the tutors and that is what I did. But I don't blame anyone but myself. You were obviously made of sterner stuff and thought for yourself. Good on you.
I made some silly decisions based on advice from tutors who thought they knew best. Once, when I was still breastfeeding my daughter, I was accused of prolonging the breastfeeding because it was sensually pleasurable. The ideal time was supposed to be six weeks for a boy and three months for a girl. Of course, after being told that, I weaned her like a shot. I felt terrible. As a result she suffered bad health as she was allergic to cow's milk.
Yes, pressure from work can be terrible but not usually from 'voluntary' organisations. Also I started in the early 70s so perhaps a bit earlier than you. If we said we couldn't come we got into big trouble but things got easier as time went on I think.

User avatar
a different guest
Posts: 620
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 12:13 am
Location: Australia

Postby a different guest » Sun Jul 18, 2004 11:48 pm

I was accused of prolonging the breastfeeding because it was sensually pleasurable


Of COURSE breastfeeding is pleasurable, nature made it that way for both mothers AND babies.

The ideal time was supposed to be six weeks for a boy

Just when a new mother is FINALLY getting the hang of it. At 6 weeks you're finally over the problems with cracked nipples and supply issues.

I wonder if they still dictate weaning? (anyone know?).
Last edited by a different guest on Fri Feb 18, 2005 12:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Goblinboy
Moderator
Posts: 227
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 4:07 am

Postby Goblinboy » Mon Jul 19, 2004 1:44 am

Hey Goblinboy - why not be a "spy" and sign up for that parenting course? :)


I would, but time won't allow it!

On the breastfeeding matter, I know of a couple of SOP mothers who were still breastfeeding two and three-year olds, so the accepted wisdom seems mutable.
The ideal time was supposed to be six weeks for a boy and three months for a girl.


That would be funny if it wasn't so sad.


Return to “St James and St Vedast”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest