Dear All

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
Antises

Postby Antises » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:08 pm

(Sorry, the above post is mine.)

Also, I wish to add that I feel a public apology is in order only after private apologies have been made, for the reason that the perpetrators should first be aware of the evidently long-lasting effects of their actions on every individual, or as many individuals as possible.

Matthew
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Postby Matthew » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:22 pm

Antises wrote:
Also, I wish to add that I feel a public apology is in order only after private apologies have been made, for the reason that the perpetrators should first be aware of the evidently long-lasting effects of their actions on every individual, or as many individuals as possible.


Now there I am in agreement with you. This is in fact one of the things that is currently being addressed.
Last edited by Matthew on Fri Aug 13, 2004 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tom Grubb
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Postby Tom Grubb » Wed Aug 11, 2004 8:32 am

Anonymous wrote:
Tom Grubb wrote:Perhaps. But, as difficult as you might find this to believe, this isn't about scolding anybody, at least not for me.

So let me get this straight: you say that there are people who are so traumatised that they cannot lay their eyes on their former teachers and that there may possibly be some who have the courage to scold them. I would extrapolate and say that there will be many in between who want to meet their teachers for the right reasons: reconciliation and closure. What about them? Why can't they take on the heads' offer?

Guest, extrapolate all you like but please read my quote again first. Then read my previous couple of posts again. I have no objection whatsoever to anyone meeting Boddy or Hyde. I've already met Boddy, as I've said before. It's just that for me any apology, soothing noises, acknowledgements, etc. from them would be essentially meaningless. I, and most of the survivors I am in close contact with, want to see the abusers! If Jerome or anyone else can arrange for some of the abusers themeselves to be present, I'll be there like a shot.

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response to Jerome Webb

Postby dan » Tue Aug 17, 2004 8:23 am

I am a former ex St Vedast pupil and I have followed this thread with interest.

Firstly to Jerome I would say thank you for your post, concern and effort you have gone to in making contact possible. However I hope you can accept that other ex pupils do not necessarily share your methods of righting wrongs.

I am part of the large 'negative residue' of disaffected former pupils of the SES childrens' schools. I have recently met with David Boddy and am glad that he is aware of what many regard as the abusive past of these schools. I do not have an issue or concern with the St James of today. So further meetings with Laura Hyde and David Boddy are unecessary for me. I want to communicate further with ex St James head - Debenham and his crew of fellow child abusers, Barber, Russell, Hipshon, Southwell, Farndell and others. Jerome - can you work with David Boddy to arrange this public meeting? This is what is necessary to go some way in making amends for the dreadful past in my opinion.

The St James of today is probably being damaged by the past actions of Nicholas Debenham and many former teachers who did physically and mentally abuse children (way beyond standard corporal punishment legal at that time).

I suggest that if St James really wants to move on positively it should encourage the criminals formerly associated with it to recant. It will probably have to change its name and disassociate from the 'SES cult' to be safe from further infamy.

Mud does stick I am afraid, one former ex pupil said to me recently in all sincerity that she would rather 'murder her own children than send them to St James'. This reflects the strength of feeling 'out there'.

best wishes to all
Dan Salaman
Dan

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Boddy's involvement in the abusive regime

Postby Goblinboy » Fri Aug 27, 2004 12:29 am

Tom,

Tom Grubb wrote: I have no objection whatsoever to anyone meeting Boddy or Hyde. I've already met Boddy, as I've said before. It's just that for me any apology, soothing noises, acknowledgements, etc. from them would be essentially meaningless. I, and most of the survivors I am in close contact with, want to see the abusers!


You may already be aware of this, but Boddy isn't a disinterested facilitator of meetings.

There's considerable evidence that Boddy actively supported the abusive regime. According to the newspaper reports in 1983, David Boddy was present at the meetings between staff and parents that occured after publication of the Standard's articles exposing the practices of the primary schools, and spoke publically in favour of the schools.

So he's hardly an innocent bystander.

Tom Grubb
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Postby Tom Grubb » Fri Aug 27, 2004 10:28 am

Hi Goblinboy,

You're quite right that Mr Boddy is far from neutral in these matters. He's high up in the SES and is taking over as headmaster of St James from Mr Debenham. However, he is an excellent facilitator!

I think the people in the SES - I mention no names because I honestly don't know how widespread this was/is - who have have actively covered up or even condoned the blatant child abuse at St Vedast and the old St James should hang their heads in shame. And yes, if they eventually have the courage to apologise for this, it would be welcome. But the only meaningful apologies for the abuse itself (beatings, kickings, humiliation, etc.) would come from those who actively carried it out.

Tom

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Postby a different guest » Fri Aug 27, 2004 1:36 pm

this gif is found on the "headmaster's welcome" page at the sydney school
Image

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Postby Goblinboy » Mon Aug 30, 2004 1:18 am

Well, he certainly has masterful insight into the educational arts ;-) .

Coming from Debenham, there must be a typo - surely he meant a beating place, not a meeting place.

mary

thank you

Postby mary » Sat Sep 04, 2004 4:47 pm

I thank the ex pupils who have been brave enough to share their testimonies. I was on the point of sending my children to these schools and came very close indeed. I am horrified at the sufferings that have taken place and could never put my kids in a school where such injustices have occurred..regardless of whatever they have done to move on..

Alban
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Postby Alban » Sun Sep 05, 2004 11:59 pm

Mary,

Firstly you are to be applauded for the research you have done into the schools to have come across this site. Despite my own experiences at these schools, I have failed to do as much background detective work on the school that my son is due to go to this year, although it is a state school and as such is subject to a much higher level of scrutiny than private schools.

Secondly, I really felt glad to read your post, simply for the fact that it has made all of this public bearing of souls worth the time and the pain. While I concede (as do you) that this level of abuse may not be present now, the very fact that teachers who behaved so attrociously then are still there today, is enough for me (and obviously you too). I think I would feel less responsible for warning people against the schools if we weren't having to bludgeon an acknowledgement (let alone an appology) out of them.

Thank you for your post, I wish you luck in finding good schooling for your children

Alban

TB

Postby TB » Sat Nov 27, 2004 11:40 pm

Hi Jerome Webb,

Your original post to this board mentioned the old boys/girls organisation as well as the negative residue you (and presumably others) had with the school and had worked through.
Can you please give more detail about the Seventh Form, how many support it and your own experience as a student with regard to the physical/mental abuse you underwent, or saw others receive.

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Alternative tho the 7th Form

Postby mike_w » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:28 am

Just in case anyone missed my post to a separate thread on this...
As the current '7th Form' organisation is far too closely allied to the existing school for my tastes (& those of others I suspect) I have started a new discussion group for all former pupils.

The intention is to have a neutral group where all former pupils are welcome, regardless of views etc. Please join by visiting http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/St_V_J_Reunited/

It is a closed group so you will have to actively join (please enter an intro with some examples of whose class you were in) and it will be (lightly) moderated so please be polite & considerate in anything you post.

Cheers

Mike

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Re: Alternative tho the 7th Form

Postby Daffy » Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:21 am

mike_w wrote:The intention is to have a neutral group where all former pupils are welcome, regardless of views etc.

Mike, can you please let us know a little more about what your new discussion group is intended to achieve - your 'mission statement' as it were?

The Internet is of course the ultimate democratic medium where everyone is entitled to set up their own discussion, but I'd be sad to see a 'watering down' of this worthy forum, given all that it has achieved so far.

The focus here is of course on the abuses that took place at St James/St Vedast/the SES, and it may be that your new discussion group is intended to have a wider focus, but inevitably people are going to discuss that subject wherever they gather.

Sorry I am sounding negative about your group - I don't mean to be. I just want to maintain the momentum here so that we can all build on the progress of the past couple of months.

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Re: Jerome/7th form

Postby non-conformist » Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:40 pm

Antises wrote:They want to be heros who can claim that they have saved the world of a sick and evil cult by making it publicly apologise and lose face, fighting relentlessly for justice and their own egos.


I'm sorry, I can't believe I've just read that!!!! It shows a blatant disregard for what myself, Tom and countless others on this site experienced at the hands of these sadistic, damaging brainwashers who disguise themselves as "caring" individuals in search of truth and self realisation. Wanting justice has NOTHING to do with wanting to be heros, nor is it by any stretch of the imagination an ego trip. In fact, and I'm sure others will back me up on this one, the last thing we want to be is heroic and SES/StV/StJ crushed whatever egos we had from the age of 4 before they had a chance to develop. So please, have a bit of respect.

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Postby ET » Thu Nov 03, 2005 11:09 am

Has anyone considered that this post from the chairman of the 7th form has arrived on this board at just about the same time that the inquiry report is due to be published?

Although I accept that the school as it is now may be different to how it was when I was a pupil there, the fact that they seem to be trying so hard to get us all to have "meetings" with them at this stage is a little suspicious. Are they afraid that the inquiry report will be damning, not only of what they did in the 70s and 80s but also of the climate in the school in more recent years?

It would perhaps be helpful to know exactly what Jerome's "negative residue" was - after all, many of us have been very honest and detailed about what we experienced, why shouldn't you, Jerome? How can you expect us to take you at your word (understandably mistrustful as we are) if you don't explain exactly how you managed to reconcile your "negative residue" with the school.


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