A Message from the new headmaster of St James

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
Matthew
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Re: Remaining Teachers - Girls school

Postby Matthew » Tue Nov 16, 2004 2:12 pm

janine wrote:Are there still teachers in the Girls school from the 70/80's. What happened to Mrs Debenham?

Hi Janine, Mr Southwell is now being employed at the Girls school. I don't know whether Mrs Debenham is still there, perhaps someone else does?

StJ79-93

Re: Remaining Teachers - Girls school

Postby StJ79-93 » Tue Nov 16, 2004 2:46 pm

janine wrote:Are there still teachers in the Girls school from the 70/80's. What happened to Mrs Debenham?


Janine,

Mrs D or Flick as she was known, continued to teach at the boy's school until at least 1993 when I left. She had a fierce temper and loved to send boys to her husband for the slightest misdemeanour, knowing full well that he would cane them.

She had boys caned for referring to her as "she"; in context: one of them saw her coming up the stairs towards the classroom and alerted the class by hissing "she's coming" in a semi-whisper. There was a predictable repetition of the phrase by others and the upshot was a full inquiry and 4 canings - SHE WAS SUCH A VICIOUS LITTLE COW or perhaps she really was the cat's mother.

She loved to humiliate boys as well as girls.

I AM GETTING SO ANGRY REMEMBERING HER

She had a dog who licked himself troughout her lessons and she had the worst case of hallitosis I have ever experienced. She also fancied my brother.

I don't know which other teachers are still there from the 70's and 80's but I do know that my sister had to be removed from teh school because she was being emotionally destroyed by the experience. She is still dealing with a lot of the mess that was made.

Katharine Watson

Postby Katharine Watson » Tue Nov 16, 2004 9:39 pm

Parent wrote:Yes, I have started to speak to my kids and am observing their behaviour very very closely.

Shall I confront the school with all of this? I am NOT an SES parent and know very little about it. After reading all your posts, I am deeply concerned. The choice of a school is an important decision and to re-locate our kids would be disruptive at this stage of thier school life. What should I be watching out for? Depressed kids? Unhappy kids? What are the signs? Are they being brainwashed? Can anyone help?


Dear Parent,

I don't know if your children are at the senior boys' school, but if they are, do come and talk to me. I would be most happy to speak to you truthfully, frankly and openly about any aspect you would like to discuss. I'm there every day and I live locally, so just call and ask for me. I could meet you either at school or at home, as you wish.

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Postby a different guest » Tue Nov 16, 2004 10:54 pm

I feel that ADG has been a little too harsh in judging you in the way that he has. This must be very confusing without any knowledge of the history and founders of the St James Schools. His proposed question about gender roles is a good one to start with - Mr Boddy certainly knows about that one, don't you, David?


Sorry if I sounded "harsh" - and i DID say that if the SES links were hidden from the parent that they should complain.

And I am not a "he" but a "she" - thus my passion about the SES's backward gender stereotyping. Why is it that it is manadatory for girls to do a subject called "The Art of Hospitality"? Why are the sports students can play so gendered? And why oh why is Geography so NOT on the curriculum? Maybe they don't want the kiddies learning about other cultures and beleif systems?

Parent - I think you should start discussing what you have discovered with other non-SES parents. Did any of them know about the schools links with the SES? You will be able to tell which mums aren't in the SES - they will be the ones you see wearing trousers and tracky dacks. *g*

sparkss

Postby sparkss » Tue Nov 16, 2004 11:01 pm

Dear Parent,

I personally would never send my son to St James, never, ever, ever.

I understand your concern and agree as stated in some other postings that you should think carefully before withdrawing your child from the school - with all the disruption that would entail. I would advise that you get informed, read the SES website, read all the postings, take up Katherine's offer - but perhaps also ask about the school about current teachers against whom allegations have been made. Maybe even talk to the teachers concerned - are they 'teaching' your child?

I would just ask you to think about the following...

When we were being beaten, when we were misserable, when we yearned to escape, prospective parents came on many occations to visit the school. We glowed, we smiled politely, we opened the doors, we asked intelligent questions in class and we gave our best. We were children, we wanted to please, we wanted to be loved.

Whatever decision you make, I hope that you never have to look your now grown child in the eye and say "Im sorry, I was only trying to do what was best for you".

Listen to your child!

Abel Holzing
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Postby Abel Holzing » Tue Nov 16, 2004 11:45 pm

Dear Parent

sparkss wrote:I ... agree as stated in some other postings that you should think carefully before withdrawing your child from the school - with all the disruption that would entail. I would advise that you get informed, read the SES website, read all the postings, take up Katherine's offer - but perhaps also ask about the school about current teachers against whom allegations have been made. ... Listen to your child!

In addition to all that, why not attend a Philosophy course? There can't be a more direct way to explore the ethos of the SES (and therefore day schools). Just for as long as necessary to form a view on what is BEHIND the image the school presents and the courses it offers - a bunch of maniacs? a deluded cult? enlightened human beings? or whatever.

AH

Parent

Postby Parent » Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:50 am

Thank you all for your valuable assistance. You have all been so so hurt and yet you take the time to care!

I must clarify that I DID know that the school had "links" to the SES. What I did'nt know was what SES stood for and how STRONG those links were.

The school has somehow maintained that there have been "changes" and that the SES influence is minimal. However, after reading all that is posted on the forum - I am very very concerned.

ALL teachers at school are from the SES. All SES kids seem to be the high achievers. I have always turned a blind eye to that. Now, I need to observe very closely.

Yes, we have started to look for another school. It pains me to say that. We placed our kids at St.James after being seduced by it's charm, warmth and innocence. Now I am very worried and seek answers.

Yes, I will speak casually with some non-SES parents too.

I only have one set of kids whom I love dearly and would not be able to live down the fact that they are being treated as an experiment (if indeed that is the case).

Very worried Parent!

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Postby a different guest » Wed Nov 17, 2004 12:04 pm

ALL teachers at school are from the SES


Well Katherine - did you tell us THAT anywhere?????

*taps foot*

StVsurvivor

Postby StVsurvivor » Wed Nov 17, 2004 12:55 pm

a different guest wrote:
ALL teachers at school are from the SES


Well Katherine - did you tell us THAT anywhere?????

*taps foot*

Katherine Watson's husband is on the board of Governors who are instigating this so-called "Independent" Inquiry. Presumably he is also high up in the SES. Can we therefore honestly expect Katherine to be completely impartial?

TB

Postby TB » Wed Nov 17, 2004 1:03 pm

Hi Goblinboy,
TB, I'm not sure you appreciate mike-w's alllusion to your style - please read the posts carefully - mike_w was addressing a specific question to a specific individual who had previously posted.

You make a fair comment and since you do, let me ask you this. If I have addressed my specific comment back to this specific individual, then why are you responding to it? Does your advice apply to yourself? I enjoyed his joke that the SES creates minds like mine, so I made a comment. I dont recall that I implied you into my response. Re-read it carefully.

I am sure we will manage without a specific thread on this.

Katharine

Postby Katharine » Wed Nov 17, 2004 3:38 pm

a different guest wrote:
ALL teachers at school are from the SES


Well Katherine - did you tell us THAT anywhere?????

*taps foot*


No, because it is not the case. I am not sure how many in the girls' school are non-SES, but in the boys' school there are, I think, seven out of a total of about 25 staff who have no connection with SES. We are all perefectly happy with this - it simply isn't an issue.

Katharine

Postby Katharine » Wed Nov 17, 2004 4:05 pm

StVsurvivor wrote:
Katherine Watson's husband is on the board of Governors who are instigating this so-called "Independent" Inquiry. Presumably he is also high up in the SES. Can we therefore honestly expect Katherine to be completely impartial?


You will not find a man of greater integrity and honesty than my husband ANYWHERE. He is utterly unselfish, modest, kind, gentle, sensitive, generous and loving to all, honest to a fault. He is well known among his contemporaries at Winchester College for having while in the Sixth Form there managed to getting the practice of flogging by prefects abolished. He has a horror of violence, physical or verbal.

Don't you DARE impugn his integrity.

I don't take kindly to your insult to me either. Anyone who has bothered to read this website properly will know that I have from the beginning unfailingly supported those who have suffered abuse. Of course I don't want to see the school I love dragged through the dirt, and I don't want our pupils to suffer from all this - it's not their fault, after all. But that does not mean I don't want the truth to be told, or that I cannot be objective. Do you really think you are the only ones capable of honesty?

I notice of late a growing tendency towards an almost gleeful spite from some (note, I say some, not all, and interestingly not on the whole from those who seem to have suffered most) on this board. If you stoop to using threats and abusive language, are you so very much better than those you accuse?

Katharine

Postby Katharine » Wed Nov 17, 2004 4:05 pm

StVsurvivor wrote:
Katherine Watson's husband is on the board of Governors who are instigating this so-called "Independent" Inquiry. Presumably he is also high up in the SES. Can we therefore honestly expect Katherine to be completely impartial?


You will not find a man of greater integrity and honesty than my husband ANYWHERE. He is utterly unselfish, modest, kind, gentle, sensitive, generous and loving to all, honest to a fault. He is well known among his contemporaries at Winchester College for having while in the Sixth Form there managed to getting the practice of flogging by prefects abolished. He has a horror of violence, physical or verbal.

Don't you DARE impugn his integrity.

I don't take kindly to your insult to me either. Anyone who has bothered to read this website properly will know that I have from the beginning unfailingly supported those who have suffered abuse. Of course I don't want to see the school I love dragged through the dirt, and I don't want our pupils to suffer from all this - it's not their fault, after all. But that does not mean I don't want the truth to be told, or that I cannot be objective. Do you really think you are the only ones capable of honesty?

I notice of late a growing tendency towards an almost gleeful spite from some (note, I say some, not all, and interestingly not on the whole from those who seem to have suffered most) on this board. If you stoop to using threats and abusive language, are you so very much better than those you accuse?

Justcurious
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Postby Justcurious » Wed Nov 17, 2004 7:50 pm

The SES don't value honour. They value honourable attributes i.e. valour, yet they don't seem to be interested in honour or defending honour (not nessacry one's own.)

TB

Postby TB » Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:37 pm

Hi Katharine,
I don't take kindly to your insult to me either. Anyone who has bothered to read this website properly will know that I have from the beginning unfailingly supported those who have suffered abuse. Of course I don't want to see the school I love dragged through the dirt, and I don't want our pupils to suffer from all this - it's not their fault, after all. But that does not mean I don't want the truth to be told, or that I cannot be objective. Do you really think you are the only ones capable of honesty?

You are getting increasing pressure as this begins to heat up. Because you have the guts and integrity to take on some ownership of something not of your making, you will inceasingly feel the bitterness and anger from the past pupils. Even though it sounds personal I suspect that you are just conducting what is meant for past teachers behaviour and their limited ability to be accountable. This is part of the healing process.

Your posts to date have shown a rare tolerance, maturity and compassion to try and make the best of a difficult and unique situation. For the sake of the same people that are challenging your (and your husbands) integrity I sincerely hope you find the strength to hold your path.

I cannot speak for others on this forum, who might be silent on this, but I watch and will you to succeed and not become disillusioned. Good luck


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