Just discovered this! From ex pupil of Girls school

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
T.S
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Just discovered this! From ex pupil of Girls school

Postby T.S » Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:41 pm

Hello everyone,
I am extremely inexperienced with the internet and hope I am writing this in the right place.
I am a little confused how to work my way around this web site so I'll start writing and hope for the best.
I am so utterly relieved to find this and was very moved by everyone's stories.
I dont know where to begin- this is all very overwhelming

I went to St James girls school for 10years from 1981-91. As with so many others this was utter hell which still haunts me daily. There are so many stories to share but what is so amazing is to be in contact with people from that world. It was another world wasnt it...

The night before I went onto the internet looking for something to do with St James I burst into tears at a dinner party when a memory came flooding back for no apparent reason...

We were all 11 years old. Fooling around between class a group of girls had tried to pull up my skirt and by accident it had torn. My form teacher dicovered the tear and as a punishment made me stand infront of the class in my underwear. Having just entered puberty this was horridly humiliating. She then made all the other girls take off their dresses too. It was an age where you hadnt got your first bra yet but were no longer flat chested- I remember other's tears.. But most of all I remember the harrowing pleas of a new girl who had severe burns on her skin and had always been careful to never reveal them. She begged to not remove her dress but the teacher forced her too anyway. I was so disturbed by this but more disturbed bythe guilt of my feeling of relief that the attention was off me for a while. I had to sit in my underwear for ages whilst the others ( now clothed) stitched my dress. I remember Mr Skinner passing through the classroom and dying inside with the shame.
This is one of many incidents like this. There was a lot of violence in my experience in the Girls school as our form teacher was an incredibly vicious woman. She hauled people out of the shower and smacked them whilst naked. She tore the towel off an overweight girl infront of everyone, she stripped another girl 14 year old infront of everyone for having 'false modesty' ie not wanting to be noticed in the changing room.
From a young age she hit us with rulers til on one incident- til it broke. I was once dragged across the room , my hip bashing into the chairs and then shaken because I was looking at my bleeding finger in a 'Philosophy' class. I was 9 years old.
I wont go on now, i feel like its just pouring out with relief. I am afraid that i want to stay anonymous as firstly I still feel humiliated by some of these experiences and secondly my family know nothing of this and it would be too devastating.
I still suffer from panic attacks and severe depression, in some ways I feel it all happened yesterday and have felt ashamed for not getting over it quicker but I feel with this communication i can begin a genuine healing process.
What's with the inquiry? Is it for the Girls scool aswell? Is there a desire to join forces to organise a public legal enquiry? Has this all been discussed? I dont nderstand how this all works can someone explain it to me?

Whoever set this up- thank you and well done!
I will respond to other people's postings soon.

Thanks,
T.S

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a different guest
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Postby a different guest » Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:43 am

so much for current pupils claims that abuse happen so FAR in the past.

TS - I'm glad you found this site and I hope that writing here and sharing with others proves a cathartic experience for you.

Tom Grubb
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Postby Tom Grubb » Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:52 am

Hi T.S,

Thank you for your very courageous post.

Please be assured that there are very many people reading this forum who will empathise deeply with your experiences. I hope, also, that there will be a few former (and current?) teachers whose consciences are bothering them. It's becoming increasingly obvious that the SES-run girls schools were as abusive and cruel as the boys schools and, hopefully, more women will be encouraged to follow your example and tell the truth about St James and St Vedast.

The 'punishments' you describe are vile and, I suspect, illegal even by the standards of the time. The people who carried them out should never have been put in charge of children.

As for the inquiry, I also wish that someone would explain it! As far as I can see, it does not cover the girls schools and complaints from female former pupils will not be considered. You might like to contact Mrs Betts with your views on this.

Thank you again.

Tom

Daffy
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Re: Just discovered this! From ex pupil of Girls school

Postby Daffy » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:10 am

T.S wrote:There was a lot of violence in my experience in the Girls school as our form teacher was an incredibly vicious woman.

TS, can you tell us the name of your form teacher? Do you recognise the names of any of your classmates on this forum who witnessed these events?

gadflysdreams
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Postby gadflysdreams » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:57 pm

Dear T.S. it sounds like you could useffully get in touch with other members of your ex classm and together send a comment to C. Betts. Presumably you were not the only member of this class to have been victimised in this way. Well done for having the courage to let it out.

T.S
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Postby T.S » Sun Feb 06, 2005 11:40 pm

Hello everyone,
Thank you so much for your prompt, generous spirited and suportive replies.
I guess I unconciously feared not being believed or having the experience belittled or simply take out of my hands which is a feeling I'm sure we all recognise.
Often an abuser will tell a child that what they are experiencing is not their reality in all of our cases that abuser was an entire organisation.

Re: other witnesses and the name of the teacher- theses are my worries..

I am not in touch with any of my class any more. In my last conversation with a fellow student she laughed at my concerns and said it was great fun being there and we were hardly hit at all! When we questioned our form teacher about how much she hit us in the primary school she said we were all making it up and it was utter nonsense.

What I simply cannot bear is to go through being told that I did not experience what I experienced- this was a particular favourite of our form teacher.

Quite often I remember trying to rally a rebellion and in the end it would be just me. I constantly questioned 'The Truth' and many other theories and paid for it too. I dont expect support from the other 6 that were left at the end of my year. I completely opposed the decision but they all chose to sing a weepy sentimental song of happy memories ( cant remember the song right now but they've ruined a beutiful beatles song forever!)
The day we finished was an intensley happy day and they were all crying.


I swear I have not spoken one mistruth but as you can see I'm scared of being discredited by a member of my class.

Sod it- I'll say her name. But if you recognise me, please do not print my name here but only in a private message as I dont want any family to come across this in a search engine.

Her name is Janet Murray

T.S.
xxxxx

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a different guest
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Postby a different guest » Mon Feb 07, 2005 12:19 am

Well I beleive you TS.

and it fits the pattern - single out the questioning and spirited child.

It is a crying shame that the other 6 students left by the end of your years there were all SES drones.

But what about girls further back? Who left the school for one reason or another? Hopefully having escaped the school they were not the drones your classmates became - maybe one of them could co-oberate your story?

T.S
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Postby T.S » Mon Feb 07, 2005 12:43 am

Thank you a different guest,
Yes I need to get on the case. Id feel bad to call them all drones and I hold some hope that some will come forward.
I am happy to go on a mission to collect evidence and nail everything down but it seems the Inquiry doesnt include the girls school.
T.S

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a different guest
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Postby a different guest » Mon Feb 07, 2005 1:16 am

but it seems the Inquiry doesnt include the girls school.


so it seems - but cannot they be pushed to include the girls school? There are a few other girls from the schools here - could those girls start PMing each other maybe?

As I have said elsewhere on these boards, I suspect that what went on at the girls schol was probably more subtle, but perhaps far more insidious and damaging.

I must admit i DO suspect the inquiry to be something of a whitewash - particularly as the SES is trawling the 7th form for "positive" comments with no evidence required.

I honestly think the only thing that will REALLY push them is either the threat of legal action, or widespread publicity (or perhaps both).

Is there not a reputable paper ex-students could contact with their stories?? What about those two journo's who wrote The Secret Cult - are they still knocking around somewhere?

Snowman
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Postby Snowman » Mon Feb 07, 2005 1:05 pm

a different guest wrote:
but it seems the Inquiry doesnt include the girls school.


so it seems - but cannot they be pushed to include the girls school? There are a few other girls from the schools here - could those girls start PMing each other maybe?

As I have said elsewhere on these boards, I suspect that what went on at the girls schol was probably more subtle, but perhaps far more insidious and damaging.


I agree that the St James girls school was incredibly damaging to scores, if not hundreds, of pupils.

My sister has sought psychlogical counselling and has begun to deal with the damage that 10 years of St James caused her. She was in such a desparate state at the age of 14ish that our parents mercifully withdrew her from St James and she went to an excellent school that restored her confidence and let her imagination and latent talent prosper.

a different guest wrote:I must admit i DO suspect the inquiry to be something of a whitewash - particularly as the SES is trawling the 7th form for "positive" comments with no evidence required.


In Ms Betts' words, the SES/governors will not be "trawling" for anything - well not for negative testimony anyway

Shout
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Postby Shout » Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:10 pm

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Last edited by Shout on Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

grimep
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Postby grimep » Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:56 pm

yes Shout... these days its called "grooming".

We all knew it was going on... but how do you find the hard evidence? I guess testimonies might help... though how many of these "Stepford Wives" would want to come forward? Not forgetting that for many the SES is a middle class club and an opportunity for marrying in to "respectability".

If it could be shown that through indoctrination, girls are groomed from a young age for the purposes you've outlined, their game would be over; they know this, which is why their methods are subtle and difficult to quantify and document.

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adrasteia
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Postby adrasteia » Mon Feb 07, 2005 10:40 pm

Shout wrote:The St.Vedast & St.James schools were set up for the sole purpose of indoctrinating more members into the cult.


Unfortunately I think you're wrong. I think the purpose of the schools was always to do good, still is...however, this may involve opening the door of the Ses to the pupils and engaging in some gentle shoving etc.
I would feel more comfortable if I thought that it was all done for a malicious purpose.

08/02/05
Ok, I think this post has been misunderstood. I should have taken more time over it, sorry.

By saying that you are wrong, I am objecting to the 'sole purpose' bit: I do not doubt that part of the plan was to encourage, if not to automatically gain new members, but always under the banner of truth and greater good. It would not have been seen a a negative or malicious action thing, rather a glorious duty.
Last edited by adrasteia on Tue Feb 08, 2005 5:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby a different guest » Mon Feb 07, 2005 10:41 pm

well shout and grimep - you've just bluntly stated my worst fears about the girls school.

Do others concur?

What say you TS?

And if its the case - is this still subetly going on?

And it would explain why so few girls are here, the method of indoctrination being so thorough that they are still in the grips of the SES.

TS - are your six other classmates married into the SES do you know?

Current non-SES parents - how many of those SES mums in the long skirts are a product of the school themselves?

Matthew
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Postby Matthew » Mon Feb 07, 2005 11:05 pm

adrasteia wrote:Unfortunately I think you're wrong. I think the purpose of the schools was always to do good, still is...


Really Adrasteia? Are you sure about that? How would you define 'good' in this context? And 'good' for who?
The cult?......or for their unsuspecting prey perhaps?


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