Hi ADG,
Are you saying that parents (and people as a whole) are constantly deluding themselves???
If so I would disagree.
Yes, that is exactly what I am saying, so let me support my statement.
Ignorance is not directly observable, in other words you do not know what you do not know. You might agree that you are probably not aware of ALL mistakes made by you in life, because every now and again you probably learn something that shows you a past error. Before that happened you assumed that there was no mistake at all. This occurs because of simple ignorance in most cases, however when there are significant things at stake we might actively block out reality. This is seen in alchoholics who steadfastly cannot see their problem, or people who are being cuckolded by their spouse who are usually among the last to find out because they block facts that threaten their core values and life.
For parents, debates over breast vs bottle, passive smoking, caesarean vs vaginal delivery, etc, can significantly affect the entire life of their child so if the reality threatens this, it takes a courageous person to face the responsibility. Sometimes they take a half way stance and blame the medical profession, friends, relatives etc.
A popular example of this mindset occured when Galileo suggested that the earth revolved around the sun and not vice versa. Regardless of facts, this could not be contemplated because of the damage it would do to the status quo, primarily in the church and society as a whole.
This is usually offered as an example of a flawed
theory when it probably better demonstrates flawed
thinking. Once the dust settled the same people blindly accepted that the sun was at the centre, still without knowing the full facts or proof. In short they were incapable of independent thought, average human beings.
If you checked with a number of intelligent, qualified people that accepted biological evolution, as opposed to creationism, very few would have complete understanding of it. Most accept these scientific facts on faith, and if pushed beyond dinner party conversation would be unable to support either creationism or evolution.
I realised it was a mistake, a tactical error and also had more to do with aussauging my own anger and frustration than anything to do with "discipline". I've "rationalised" it, but does that make the mistake go away? No.
As per my earlier comments, this works only if you aware of all 'mistakes' you make, something even a saint might not make claim to. It proves very little to point out that we do recognise some mistakes, and this explains why most people think like you do.
The challenge is the ones we do not acknowledge today, but might see tomorrow - or never.
What is dangerous is stereotyping traits and then encouraging them. The old "boys don't cry" stuff for example. Of COURSE boys cry - and they should be allowed to.
I agree with you - for this example. I think the issues arise when people disagree on what is a biological difference and what is socialised. And, even if something is socialised does this make it a bad thing? I happen to agree with you that boys should be allowed to cry, but what if they cried as much as girls did?
and I stand by my assertion that very young boys are generally more emtionally fragile than their female peers. Perhaps this is linked to their less developed speech/vocab abilities?
I know very little about infant development and only having daughters I do not have experience or research on this, so i guess I have no view either way. I have read that girls do develop verbal skills earlier than boys and understand that male and female brains deal quite differently with verbal and social skills.
also, keep in mind that all foetuses start out female.
I disagree with this, perhaps you mean that foetuses are female by default in form, but not genetics. They are born with either XX or XY chromosomes (with rare exceptions). Hormones then kick in and affect how the foetues evolves. The concept that female is default is being questioned, some sources would describe the foetus is gender undifferentiated for the first 6 weeks until hormones act upon the chromes.
It appears the view of starting life as female came about due to a lack of understanding on what factors occur to make a female, while those making a male were quite well understood. So it became 'female by default'.
This gives a good example of mistaken understanding based upon ignorance. You and I have little clue about the true facts on something like this, yet we think we do. Your view and mine might both be wrong, and another will replace the commonly held myth. In this case this particular 'fact' has been used by feminists for political gain, so they are likely to defend anything that might upset it.