A Parents View

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
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Keir
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Postby Keir » Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:41 am

Hi mike,

As it was my intention to keep it close in the topic list to Elizabeths post it was necessary to continue to bump it as her post - being more inflamatory - was getting much more traffic than what is a reasonable alternative view from someone who is neither totally pro nor totally against.

Conflict creates more energy than reason.

I think that it would be good for Elizabeth to realise that she is not the only parent that has posted and not the only view represented from that quarter.

I don't know how else this can be accomplished except by bumping to keep it up there. Suggestions welcome.

mgormez
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Postby mgormez » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:14 am

Howdy Keir,

Keir wrote:I think that it would be good for Elizabeth to realise that she is not the only parent that has posted and not the only view represented from that quarter.

I don't know how else this can be accomplished except by bumping to keep it up there. Suggestions welcome.


What the heck would become of this place when left and right people would keep bumping posts because they don't like the views expressed in a particular recent post? Hence, bump it once to call it to attention and then let it go.

Besides have you thought that perhaps Elizabeth is scared to fully ponder the abuse that went on? Her entire life might revolve around the SES, in which she has invested perhaps decades, mountains of money and thousands of hours and are distinguished members. Nobody likes to admit they were wrong. And certainly not when it touches every fiber of your life.

Btw Keir, the image is broken of the post you made here http://www.whyaretheydead.net/phpBB2/vi ... =6735#6735
Mike Gormez

Tom Grubb
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Postby Tom Grubb » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:20 am

mgormez wrote:Besides have you thought that perhaps Elizabeth is scared to fully ponder the abuse that went on? Her entire life might revolve around the SES, in which she has invested perhaps decades, mountains of money and thousands of hours and are distinguished members. Nobody likes to admit they were wrong. And certainly not when it touches every fiber of your life.

Good point, Mike. She's made a start, albeit a small one. I hope she will now find the courage to address this abuse properly. I don't want her to go away.

Tom

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Stanton
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Postby Stanton » Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:01 am

Good point Tom. But if we are to encourage parents and SES members to post on this board then we do have to be more hospitable as Ben showed in a different thread. Bashing them as soon as they stick their noses above the parapet will serve no good purpose. You don't like the views expressed? No need for a hissy fit - just take calmamotion, one tablet a day will do the job.

Tom Grubb
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Postby Tom Grubb » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:23 pm

Well, I think people like Elizabeth also need to realise how bloody angry people get when their experiences of childhood abuse are referred to as "mistakes".

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Stanton
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Postby Stanton » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:28 pm

Don't think there's any doubt about the anger. And then?

mgormez
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Postby mgormez » Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:53 pm

It is a two way thing. When I would post on a BB which deals mainly with severely abused women, how I know the offender for 20 years & he is genuinely a really nice bloke who helped me with my bike and yes, he did hit a women or two by mistake but that is in the past and he does not anymore!

Then what responses would that cause, you'd think?

But for sure, I could have been more friendlier, that's true. I have not been beaten by any SES member.
Mike Gormez

Tom Grubb
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Postby Tom Grubb » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:41 pm

Stanton wrote:Don't think there's any doubt about the anger. And then?

As I tried to suggest in my previous post, people like Elizabeth (i.e. people who must have a fairly good idea what kind of places the old St James and St Vedast really were but who misrepresent the concerns of former pupils and refer to deliberate acts of child abuse as "mistakes") need to be confronted and shown how angry this makes many survivors of these schools.

If Elizabeth now does a burning martyr act and disappears, that's up to her. If she shows some courage and stays to listen and respond to some tough questions, so much the better.

I'm willing to listen (really!) but I'm not willing to give people I profoundly disagree with an easy ride.

NYC
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Postby NYC » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:00 am

Cheryl wrote:If I got to a point where what was negative for me, outweighed what was positive, I knew I could leave the SES but they [her children] did not have the same degree of self determinism over their situation.


This just struck me as so important -- obvious, but easy to forget.

To Keir, re bumping,
no reason not to copy & quote "Cheryl's" post, or an excerpt, in the other thread, is there? so you can get the contrast w/out starting a bumping war...maybe the superpolite thing to do is pm the person you quote that youve copied their material to a different thread, so they know to check responses there.
Attended Parts 1,2, & 3 and a Plato study group in the NY adult school 2004 - 2005. Also explored advaita philosphy in other organizations since 1995, and continue to do so.

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Ben W
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Bumping

Postby Ben W » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:36 am

I agree we should not abuse this feature (ie bumping). I would like to comment that I was very grateful for it in this case

As a relative newcomer I had not read this thread before and I appreciate Keir bringing it to my attention in an appropriate context.
Child member of SES from around 1967 to around 1977; Strongly involved in Sunday Schools ; Five brothers and sisters went to ST V and St J in the worst years

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a different guest
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Postby a different guest » Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:24 am

What the heck would become of this place when left and right people would keep bumping posts because they don't like the views expressed in a particular recent post? Hence, bump it once to call it to attention and then let it go.


Mike - considering Elizabeth's time here is not daily, a couple of timely bumps is not going OTT (imho). And Ben certainly found them timely.

I think after the channel 4 doco we can also expect more newbies at least reading this site, if not posting - so the odd bump or posted summary of previous posts, is reasonable.

There is a HECK of a lot of reading here - more pertinant posts do need to have attention to them called.

mgormez
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Postby mgormez » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:37 pm

a different guest wrote:
There is a HECK of a lot of reading here - more pertinant posts do need to have attention to them called.


I agree ADG it was a good post and Ben was glad it was bumped, but again, what is to stop current St. James pupils or other groups to bump relevant threads too, they like for a day. A couple of fractions doing that messes it up here. That is what I am worried about, not a single post but what it can cause; the bumps war.

Btw, NYC gave some very sound tips. Like, why not post the URL of the post in the thread you think needs a balance? Then everyone who follows that thread will see your pointer. Might even be more effective then bumping.


Now, where have I left my benzodiazepine... :?:
Mike Gormez


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