Stanton: "...otherwise the children will be harmed"

Discussion of the children's schools in the UK.
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Ben W
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Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:33 am

Postby Ben W » Tue May 09, 2006 8:42 pm

Thanks Stanton.

I personally accept your apology for your part in this.

There is one aspect that I would like to explore with you. At the time of the original posting, you received feedback on this thread expressing considerable doubt as to the authenticity of the letter you were referring to. The dialogue went something like this:

daska wrote:Maybe Stanton you could tell us who told you about the alleged letter?

Stanton wrote:It was a friend of mine in the School. I was saying that I'd been called a stooge on this board and how laughable that was and the conversation developed from there.

Stanton wrote:It is not my intention to inflame the situation nor do I believe that I have done so. I do not believe that I have been duped or fed a line.

My question concerns the way information is disseminated unquestioningly within SES. This is so reminiscent of my time there. If I apply my experience to you - someone told you something and you unquestioning treated that something as the absolute truth.

Stanton wrote:I haven't seen the letter and I'm unlikely to.

Your perspective seemed to be: Why would you even ask? You are in an organisation which is built on the truth - where there is truth all around.

Do you see where I am heading?

From an outside perspective it is as clear as daylight that there is as much pettiness, innuendo, deceit, misunderstanding etc in SES as anywhere else. However the deeply held belief of those involved that this is not the case represents a HUGE blindspot for you and for everyone else whose role is simply to take on the truth.

Separately, such an environment represents a HUGE opportunity for people in authority to put out information which is readily taken on by everyone within the organisation.

SES - as has been written about at length on this board - strongly discourages questioning of its prounouncements - those who do question leave - often with strong and enduring emotions.

Stanton wrote:I should not have raised a hare without triple-checking.

Yes - you and everyone else should triple check everything you are told. What I am saying is that culturally I do not believe you can really check anything you are told in SES - such checking / questionning is against the teaching - without marking yourself as a trouble maker.

Stanton wrote:Mea culpa.

This is taking the whole blame onto yourself. Is that really fair? Is it really you who is at fault?
Child member of SES from around 1967 to around 1977; Strongly involved in Sunday Schools ; Five brothers and sisters went to ST V and St J in the worst years

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Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2005 8:29 pm
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Postby daska » Tue May 09, 2006 9:30 pm

It seems to me that there are several levels of 'fault' here.

    1. the cultural aspect that Ben alludes to: "Neither accept nor deny". Whatever you discover about what you are told by the SES isn't relevant to the SES' Truth, so at the end of the debate that's all that's left - what was said in the first place remains complete with all it's faults and inaccuracies. SES Truth is never allowed to benefit from any additional wisdom or experience that anyone can bring to it.

    2. and 3. the fault/s of the person/s who first decided to pass on their particular version of the letter and ascribe specific interpretations to it. The text of this letter was not private or confidential so they could have passed on the whole text accurately, they took the decision not to.

    4.the fault of anyone who heard the rumour and spread it without checking their facts

    5. the fault of anyone who could have checked the facts but didn't bother until they had effectively been exposed as a bit of a ninny...

Stanton, Your apology is accepted, thank you for returning to the board to make that post. Ben is correct, you are not totally responsible, it is the culture of SES to take what you are told as gospel - neither accept nor deny - but this culture does leave you open to abuse. Personally I would think very hard about whethere it is acceptable for whoever passed on this information to have denied you the truth of it. Should you continue to allow yourself to be used in this way? For your own self esteem I would suggest it is not.

Now you must make reparation. Having been partially responsible for diseminating this contemptible spin, indeed having placed it in a very public arena, you must follow the trail to the rumourmonger and ensure that everyone that could have heard or passed on the rumour is given the full, accurate text of the open letter so that they can understand the full context.

Who knows how many SES and and day school members/ pupils/ staff/ parents are now concerned about their child's safety - all because of a lie.

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