Just found you.
Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:07 pm
Just found you all, after reading Claras book. . . .
I have been struggling for all of my adult life with coming to terms with my childhood, feeling ill equiped to deal with 'normal social working life'.
Trying not to fall into the trap of self pity, and keeping a sense of humour about the whole crazy mess.
Reading the book,and finding this site is so wondeful, I feel validated, and relieved that I had not exaggerated or fantasized anything.
I was at both St Vedast and St James schools from 1975-1985. I am a single child from a one parent family and lived with my mother in various rooms of SES members' houses including teachers from the age of 7 -10 until my mother had a mental breakdown. At which point we moved back with my Grandparents who were both members of the SES. There are so many terrible memories of this time, much of which are only returning to me from reading the book and looking at this forum.
I was treated as a very low and untrustworthy, almost abhorrent, child because not only was I illegitamate, but then my Mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia,
which was an ultimate denial of the 'truth and Absolute', My mother went into hospital for 6 months on and off, I felt humilliated so told no one at school , the teachers treated me with distain. My Grandparents, in usual SES style were totally occupied with duties, study days, weekends in Stanhill ,Waterperry & Sarum Chase.
I became withdrawn, dirty, my hair became matted, my gym clothes were never clean, let alone the dreaded uniform. I was useless academically, since discovering that I have Dislexia, and not that I was willfully denying the truth. My one joy was art. The Headmistress persecuted me daily, I started to try to avoid assembly, or the whole day, by riding the train round and round - just as Clara describes. My Mother was told the school, no one visited her or kept in contact, even after her years of so called friendship and commitment. I did make some very deep and wonderful freindships, even if they did not know all of what was going on, and without the help of two teachers - one who would just come to class and read us stories, and the other who encouraged my individuality and artistic talent - I would not have survived.
It took me years to be able to allow myself to be myself without too much self consciousness, I now have a happy and loving life, full of laughter, music, meat, wine and good loving.
Thankyou for being here .
I have been struggling for all of my adult life with coming to terms with my childhood, feeling ill equiped to deal with 'normal social working life'.
Trying not to fall into the trap of self pity, and keeping a sense of humour about the whole crazy mess.
Reading the book,and finding this site is so wondeful, I feel validated, and relieved that I had not exaggerated or fantasized anything.
I was at both St Vedast and St James schools from 1975-1985. I am a single child from a one parent family and lived with my mother in various rooms of SES members' houses including teachers from the age of 7 -10 until my mother had a mental breakdown. At which point we moved back with my Grandparents who were both members of the SES. There are so many terrible memories of this time, much of which are only returning to me from reading the book and looking at this forum.
I was treated as a very low and untrustworthy, almost abhorrent, child because not only was I illegitamate, but then my Mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia,
which was an ultimate denial of the 'truth and Absolute', My mother went into hospital for 6 months on and off, I felt humilliated so told no one at school , the teachers treated me with distain. My Grandparents, in usual SES style were totally occupied with duties, study days, weekends in Stanhill ,Waterperry & Sarum Chase.
I became withdrawn, dirty, my hair became matted, my gym clothes were never clean, let alone the dreaded uniform. I was useless academically, since discovering that I have Dislexia, and not that I was willfully denying the truth. My one joy was art. The Headmistress persecuted me daily, I started to try to avoid assembly, or the whole day, by riding the train round and round - just as Clara describes. My Mother was told the school, no one visited her or kept in contact, even after her years of so called friendship and commitment. I did make some very deep and wonderful freindships, even if they did not know all of what was going on, and without the help of two teachers - one who would just come to class and read us stories, and the other who encouraged my individuality and artistic talent - I would not have survived.
It took me years to be able to allow myself to be myself without too much self consciousness, I now have a happy and loving life, full of laughter, music, meat, wine and good loving.
Thankyou for being here .